7 Reasons Why Alphabeat Shouldn't 'Do A Dragonette'

Alphabeat @ Metro 5/12/07

I went to a delightful performance by the latest pop sensation Alphabeat (interviewed in GT's November issue) last night. If I was Carrie Bradshaw I would say "And it got me thinking" but I'm not, so here is what I thought:

7 REASONS WHY ALPHABEAT SHOULDN'T 'DO A DRAGONETTE'(i.e. create a bed-wetting buzz amongst the media and Gays Of London, yet fail to sell any considerable amount of records)

1. Both bands have fit drummers, but if I had to pick one it would be the one from Alphabeat. He is almost as fit as the drummer from Mc Fly.
2. My mum would buy an Alphabeat record. My mum would not buy a Dragonette record. My mum likes listening to lyrics about the minor trials of monogamous heterosexual relationships. My mum does not like listen to lyrics about promiscuity, adultery and bumsex*.
3. The combined ages of each band is probably the same (Alphabeat have six people, Dragonette four. Work it out.)
4. During their penultimate song they managed to sound like Arcade Fire and S Club 7 at the same time. This has to be one of the greatest musical achievements of our era.
5. Alphabeat make pop music without relying on synthesisers. This makes their music both classy and timeless, potentially putting them in the Amy Winehouse league.
6. The kind of people who have been voting for Same Difference will love Alphabeat, they simply don't stop smiling. Dragonette pout. Liking Alphabeat won't loose you any credibility, though I would love to hear the Diplo remix of Same Difference.
7. Alphabeat are Danish which often gets confused with being Swedish which is closely linked to lovely things like Abba, Robyn, BWO, The Sounds and IKEA. Dragonette are Canadian which often gets confused with being American which is not so lovely.

* Dragonette don't actually sing about bumsex unless you have a very active imagination. Dragonette are also very good and should've been a bit more success than they were.