A mildly un-funny advert, right?
Perhaps, but thanks to its heavy rotation, I can't help thinking there's something a little queer going on...
The initial gaze: Just a bit of friendly, have-a-good-subway Customer Service? Or unmistakable cruisy eye contact?
“Red onion?”: Polite enquiry? Or modern day polari, met with a nod of disgust born of internalised homophobia?
Mysterious Red Coated Woman: Simple urban setting? Or the threatening first female of the clip representing enforced heterosexuality, whilst our protagonist flees into a…
Dark Alley: it is just a dark alley and in no way a reference to his anus.
“Hello Brian!”: Absurdist gangster parody? Or is Brian in search of a bit of rough, having fled the public domain of Subway, he can now get spit roasted by two men in onion costumes?
“Hey!”: Subway server saves the day? Or saves Brian for himself?
Eat Fresh: Free from the threat of physical violence you can enjoy your picky tastes? Or does Brian finally get to felate his meaty 1/4ft sub infront of his new found hero?