Interviews

31/07/2013

Montegino


I'm hungover. You can tell because I've just trekked in the rain to Asda to buy several litres of assorted fruit juices, carbonated water and a Pot Noodle. Not that buying Pot Noodles is in itself a sign of hungoverness - I actually think they're a perfectly valid food choice, despite their lack of obvious nutritional value, they're a total unguilty pleasure - but rather the manner in which I did it. My dilemma was that I usually go for the Bombay Bad Boy, but they only had them in the extra large pots, and they have all these new flavours but what I really wanted was a Thai Green Curry flavour noodle that you used to be able to get, who made them anyway? but then I saw that Golden Wonder were doing a Pot Noodle rip-off that was basically like a Bombay Bad Boy, but would it be as good as a Pot Noodle? Then I saw Thai Green Curry soup, so I put that in my basket, but hadn't solved the Pot Noodle dilemma. I could try the new Peri Peri one, but I've seen the advert and it's basically transphobic - well, it's using cross dressing as a comedy schtick, but then the guy/wag in the clip is presented as a happy, driven, goal achieving individual taking pleasure from his life choices, so is it that transphobic? Wait, it's laughing at a man in a dress, it's transphobic. Or is the joke at the expense of footballers and perfume ads? I'm not sure it's that sophisticated, but I buy it anyway. I stood in the aisle for atleast ten minutes. I stop in Montegino on my way back and ask for a black coffee. "Nescafe or Americano?" I forgot that this is basically a very clean greasy spoon. The drink comes in a massive cup, topped up with hot water right up to the top, so I can barely taste the coffee. I put sugar in it, and it tastes worse. I'm finally snapped out of my hungover indecision and leave the cafe and drink behind. The whole time I was walking home in the rain, I was thinking about what a happy couple rain and hangovers make - but only because I knew there was a towel, bed and potential hot bath waiting for me not to far away. The sad thing is, I could only obsess about how to make this into a witty tweet of 140 characters, rephrasing and going over the various ways I could say how much I like walking in the rain with a hangover. I went with this.

An Americano costs £1.50

Montegino, Amhurst Park, N16 5AA