I hope she buys my (Britney) perfume

I got embroiled in the Lily Allen blog rush, but did I listen to Hard Out Here again afterwards? No. This week, the song I have repeatedly put on repeat is Britney's new one. It is the perfect looped soundtrack to a bottle of cheap Rosé, as I found out last night. The sign of a good song is that I tend to gorge myself on it for about the space of a week, forever cementing it to a time, place and emotional state in my life. It's nothing special on first listen, but it struck a chord in my cold, battered heart. It sounds pretty much like any Sia classic with a little nod to Wrecking Ball, if only production wise. Can I just say *raises glass*, how amazing will the Sia Best Of be? Though it should be all her writing credits on one triple cd ablum, The Sia Songbook - she's basically our Burt Bacharach.

The first few listens, the lyrics just kind of waft over you, and it takes a while to piece together the relationship narrative. This isn't helped by the confusing early statement, "current girlfriend, ex-girlfriend". WHICH ONE BRITNEY. There are two other mental journeys I've taken on the Perfume overdose. Firstly, I keep replacing 'smells' with 'buys'. Or atleast I start thinking about the process of buying a Britney perfume, or more in keeping with my current obsession, with a rip off Britney perfume. It's just insanely clever (or moronically obvious) that she should write a song utilising the perfume metaphor, because SHE SELLS HER OWN PERFUME. Which brings me onto the best mental image in the song, one of marking her territory. Everyone knows in the animal kingdom, this is done by pissing. I love the idea of watersports Britney, especially after her cringe inducing appearance on the Alan Carr show, where she could barely bring herself to say the TITLE WORD FROM HER LAST SONG, the word Bitch.

A calming aside: the video is yet to come out - but I had a pleasant flashback to the word of mouth joy spread by Britney shooting the video for Criminal in Dalston (also her last relatively "slow jam"). Not that you could tell it was shot in Dalston, but should she decide to descend on the capital's former coolest postcode, I have already suggested this location.

Back to Perfume's narrative: The biggest gripe is lamenting how there seems to be three people in the relationship (though it turns out this third party may or may not be fictional) yet it was only four years ago that she was suggestively (almost aggressively) suggesting at a three-possibly-foursome. Exhibit A: Of course (of course!) in the 3 video, she starts by spritzing on a little PERFUME. Marking her territory on herself, bringing things full circle.