1.) It needs to have a Shakira Shakira, "It's Riri, Bitch", Red Wiiiiine, uh-huh uh-huh, thing about it that will forever enter the pop lexicon.
2.) Something about bpm. Someone somewhere must have drawn an informative graph explain what I instictively guess, that her songs of a moderately higher tempo chart at a moderately higher position.
3.) Shakira has been in my thoughts everytime I get the bus home, as I pass a gas station in Finsbury Park that almost has one of her lyrics as a tag line. Annoyingly there is a bus right in the way when you try and get a close up on google maps, but once you see it, you will get the song in your head.
4.) Not going to milk this, but the memory paradox thing is already currently at number one, being sung by a Rehab ridden Ke$ha. "Let's make a night you won't remember, I'll be the one you don't forget." There is probably a similar chorus if the title Can't Remember to Forget You is anything to go by.
5.) It can't be a ballad, please not a ballad. Even though all that cleavage pushing evening wear and elegant draping aren't exactly suggesting a YOLO!#banger.
ALSO OUT ON MONDAY: Something by Lily Allen. Probably Kylie's will leak next week too.